Close to the End
by edwartforever
Summary: Clary left. She ran away from everyone and everything, even from Jace. And Jace, like she didn't mean anything to him afer all, she didn't search her, the only thing he did is to decide to marry Aline. Clary learnt that and her word turned upside down again, because she didn't want to live anymore,not without her love of her life. After City of Glass, better summary inside.


**Summary; This story take place after City of Glass, but there are some changes. Sebastian is dead, completely dead and he never killed Max, he is alive. Simon and Izzy are together but Jace and Clary aren't. Clary left after Mortal War and nobody hasn't seen her from then. And the worst is that Jace, although he know that he isn't his sister, he doesnt search for her, instead of that he is marrying Aline.**

**Disclaimer; I don't own Mortal Instruments, Cassandra Clare is the lucky one. **

**Close to the End**

He had said once that he loved me and I had believed him, but no, it was a lie, everything about us was a lie.

He never loved me and he would never really love me. That's why I left, and now, after six months, I was looking at his wedding invitation… with Aline.

_**Herondale & Penhallow**_

_**We have the owner to invite you in the wedding of Jace Herondale with Aline Penhallow, which will take place at 5.00 in the afternoon, on the 20th of March., at the Accord Hall in the Angelic Square at Alicante, in Idris.**_

_**The maid of honor,**_

_**Isabelle Lightwood.**_

I couldn't move. I just couldn't. After reading this, I ….God.

It wasn't that I didn't know that they were together, I knew it very well, it was, beside, the reason I left. But I didn't just left, I disappeared, all these months I hadn't spoken with none, neither him nor anyone who had a connection with him. I was practically dead for them. The only people I was in touch were Luke and my mother and that was only by phone once in a while or very rarely a visit and today that was exactly the occasion. They had come to visit me for the third time in six months.

"Mom, mom" I screamed hysterically. "What is this?" I said, shaking the invitation with tears ready to fall from my eyes.

"What is it, honey?" she said from the other room, coming to the kitchen, where I was. When she saw my expression and more importantly what I was holding, she obviously panicked.

"Clary" she said trembling." Where did you find this?" she asked nervous, now standing right next to me.

"In your bag, but that's not the point" I said angrily and in the same time, tired. "He is marrying, right? He is marrying Aline" I said and I broke down, crying.

"Clary, I am sorry" she said crying, too. "But honey, what did you think? You knew that he had moved on" she said reluctantly afraid of my reaction.

"Yes, I knew it but it's so soon, so soon" I whispered, letting her calm me down. "And I can't forget him" I said being on edge.

"Yes, you can Clary" he said suddenly angry. "In the end, he wasn't really anything to you and obviously you weren't anything to him too." She said but I didn't interrupt her, I just stared at her surprised."So why are you doing that to your life, Clary? Why are you destroying yourself?" she half yelled, emphasizing each word.

"Mom, you may have right" I said calmly but the anger was boiling inside me " Maybe I am destroying myself but I can't move on, I don't have the strength to start everything all over again. Not without him" I said still calm, not leaving her confused eyes.

"But Clary why? That's not what I don't understand." She asked sadly. "What was he for you, after all?

"Mom, I can't really talk about this but…" I tried to say but I was interrupted.

"Ok, but if he was so important for you, why you didn't try to be with him, why you just left?"she asked desperate.

"Because it wasn't meant to be" I said simply and left the room heading to my bedroom to fall in my misery remembering what had happened six months ago.

**Everything was fine. Almost. Valentine was dead, Sebastian was dead and the Mortal war had ended with minimum deaths from our side. All the people I loved and I cared about were safe.**

**But why I was so nervous? I questioned myself as I was sitting in Aline's room waiting for Isabelle to get ready so we could go to the Angel Square where the party for the end of the war was taking place. **

"**Oh, shit, where's my mascara?" Izzy said angrily." I must have left it to the bathroom" she murmured and got out from the room, leaving me alone with Aline. Great.**

**It wasn't that I didn't like her, I did, not very much but at least I didn't hate her either. And the memory of her, all over Jace didn't help me very much to improve my opinion for her.**

"**So, I am done, what you think?" she said and turned around, so I could see her dress.**

"**You look great" I said and although I didn't want to admit it, it was true. She wasn't at all like me, she was beautiful.**

**«Thanks, but you are luckier, you know. I somewhat envy you" she said and I looked her with curiosity waiting for an explanation.**

"**You know, look at you" she said pointing at me." You haven't even dressed up for the party" she said to explain herself." You don't care about what the others will tell about you nor you have anyone to be perfect for" she said smiling and that was that made me angrier. **

"**No, that's not entirely true" I said faking smiling, trying to control myself. "I have Jace but he doesn't care about these things" I said a little proudly.**

"**Aaa, are you together?" she said still smiling. " I didn't know it, because I hadn't see him with you at all, since he got out from the hospital , so I guess that you weren't together" she said smiling evilly, having seen my confused expression.**

**You see, I didn't really know what was going up with me and Jace. I haven't seen him since the incident in the lake and I didn't know what to think. I hadn't gone to see him in the hospital, I didn't know if he wanted me to and besides they didn't let anyone in. But he had gone out this morning and neither had he come to see me. Izzy had said that I shouldn't be worry, he would want to go to Valentine's funeral but still, l I felt that something was wrong.**

"**No, no we aren't together but" I tried to said but I couldn't continue; I didn't know what to tell her about me and Jace.**

"**Look Clary" she said seriously. "I like you and I don't want to see you heartbroken. Isabelle told me what has happened between you and him and believe me, I know Jace, and that's not going to work. You aren't proper for him, he likes other girls, besides you won't bear with him, he is too wild for a girl like you".**

"**Yes I know it but with me, he is different. He seems to love me" I said confident.**

"**Yeah until now, because you were something illegal for him, something he couldn't have but now you are nothing special for him, just a simple girl who will get bored anytime soon" he said still smiling.**

**I didn't have the chance to respond as Izzy came in but it was good as I didn't really know what to tell her. What if she was right? Jace was Jace and it was possible to have changed his mind about me, what if he didn't love me anymore?**

**The only way I could learn these things was to talk him tonight, as hard as the truth would be. **

**In the end, with all the doubts that Aline had created me, I got to Amatis' house and asked her to give me one of his dresses. She gave me one which was really beautiful but I didn't know how it looked to me, besides I didn't have the perfect body, I have the opposite of it.**

**I went alone to the square as I was a little late but fortunately Jace was still there as Magnus whispered me when I got there and that was the only thing that matter.**

**I headed off to the Accord Hall steps were Jace was supposed to be, running, with my only thought that I would see him again and this time knowing that we aren't siblings and most importantly, without being ready to die.**

**But I was wrong again; before I approached him too much I saw something that broke my heart into million pieces. **

**Jace looking Aline in her eyes and kissing her. He wasn't just kissing her like he would do to a random girl; he was kissing her, like he was kissing me. As she was the most priceless thing in the world, as she was everything to him. **

**But obviously I wasn't and that's why, without even second thought, I took the decision to leave everything that reminded me him behind me and hide from everyone and everything.**

**I persuaded myself that, that was the best for everyone. For him, he would never need to see me so broken, so miserable and feel guilties for not loving me. Maybe none believed that Jace cared about anyone except himself but I knew that he did, he did care.**

**I left the square running and crying and despite of the hysterical voices I heard screaming my name behind me I never turned around to see who was.**

It had past six freaking months from that day, and I felt that it had past only six hours.

I was hurt, my body and my heart were hurt.

Every day I was doing the same damn things; I woke up in the morning tired and sad from the dreams I had seen the previous night; Jace, they were always about Jace. Then I wore out myself with numerous hours of practice. I wanted to be a proper Shadowhunter, not because I would live like this, but because I didn't want to afraid the demons anymore. And when it started getting dark I was sitting in front of the TV, not really watching it, but thinking of him. I didn't want it but I couldn't do otherwise.

I didn't live, I just survived. My life was generally apathetic and passionless but I had rarely some panic attacks or tantrums where all the house was falling apart.

I didn't want to draw anymore. If I tried to, I would end up drawing him and I couldn't stand it. My room was full of drawings of him, the most of them ripped.

In conclusion, he had destroyed me and I, the idiot, I couldn't forget him, I couldn't hate him for the things he had had done to me. I knew that my mom was right. After all, we didn't have anything seriously, we didn't have anything at all. We might have kissed three or four times but that's all we had. It wasn't logical to be in love with him, but I was and he wasn't.

I was in love with a boy that he never really loved me, he didn't even care about me. So many times he had told me that but I never believed him, I thought he was pretending but when I left, he never search for me. But why should he search? I knew him hardly two months and I weren't nothing important to him, only a fake sister.

And now he was marrying, the boy that everyone said that it was incapable of loving, he had found his love. And it wasn't me.

So why I couldn't move on? These months the only thing I did is to become more and more miserable, not moving on because I knew that I couldn't, I didn't want to forget him, to delete everything I thought we had because, despite everything that the other said, Jace really meant something to me.

I stood up from the bed and wandered around the house to see if Jocelyn and Luke were still here and fortunately they weren't. I wasn't in the mood to deal with them.

So I went again to my room and tried to fix the desk which has fallen during my outburst after reading the invitation. Although that I had recently become a Shadowhunter that didn't mean that I had gained and muscle strength, so the desk would probably stay on the floor until Luke come to my house again.

The training to become a Shadowhunter officially stopped last week as then I took the mark that confirmed that. On the one hand I was happy but on the other hand that meant that I didn't have something to spend my time and my trainer would never come again. He wasn't someone I knew very well or even like, he was an old friend of Luke who was willing to help me, but at least I had someone to talk.

Now, I would be completely alone; My parents didn't really count and I had cut off all my relationships with my friends; the Lightwoods and even Simon. It was very dangerous to talk to them. I couldn't move on like this, not if I have to talk with someone who saw him every day and besides, they would be trying to fix the things between us and that it was impossible to happen. The only thing they would manage would be to destroy his life and as my life was already destroyed, it didn't need to ruin and his chances to be happy again.

I opened the TV to let my mind get away from my problems for a while but what I saw, better heard, made me feel more desperate.

"**Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Today, is the sixteenth of the March and apparently the winter doesn't want to go away. The temperature is…" **

Before the reporter finished his sentence, I closed the TV with shivering hands. I didn't care about the cold weather but about the fact that my Jace would be married in four days exactly.

What the hell was I saying?, he wasn't my Jace, it was Aline's and with that thought I through the useless, made of glass, ashtray in the door when in the same time the bell rang.

I didn't go to open the door, until the knocks on the door became intolerable. In any other case, I wouldn't have opened but in the situation I was I couldn't stand that awful sound and I had so much nerves that I wanted to fight with someone , breaking things wasn't enough for me anymore.

But the person I saw when I opened the door wasn't at all what I expected; it wasn't neither the postman nor any annoying neighbor. It was Isabelle.

I tried to close the door but like always she was faster.

"I haven't seen you for so long and that was what I get Clary, a door in the face? I don't remember you to be so rude" she said supposedly disappointed but the anger in her voice was obvious. She hadn't changed at all. She was still that beautiful tall girl with the black long hair and the amazing body.

"Isabelle, what do you want? Please, leave" I said tired.

"Bravo" she said mockingly," I see that you still remember my name. You know, I was afraid that, because you were disappeared for six months and you didn't answer our calls you may have forgotten who we are or even worst to be dead. But as I can see you are still alive, great" she said now without hiding her rage.

"Isabelle, please leave" I repeated monotonously.

"You know, seriously that wasn't the respond I was waiting" she said tired too. "Maybe a hug, a getaway, or even a fight but you are just standing there apathetically and unfortunately for you I can't do that" she said and shook her head sadly. "I want a damn explanation".

"Isabelle, if you came here only for that I am afraid that your trip was meaningless" I said starting to lose my temper. "I won't ask you again to leave" I said pointing the door.

"No, you are dreaming if you think that I will just leave" she said her voice risen up and she continue before I could interrupt her." You left, no you disappear, it wasn't a joke that we thought that you had died, we really thought that you had some kind of accident" she said taking a deep breath and then her terribly outburst started.

"You destroy us, you know. We were desperate; you didn't answer the phones, nothing. The only thing we knew it was that you were alive and that thanks to Luke. Why did you leave? You weren't there to see how Simon was, how Jace was. You didn't think them at all, only yourself" she screamed and it wasn't a question, it was a fact." You know, Alec was right about you, when he first saw, he had said that you were going to be the destroy for him and you were" she said screaming but I didn't care, the only thing I wanted was her to shut up. What the hell was she saying?

"Don't talk to me like this" I screamed to her. "You don't know anything, you don't know anything about me and him, anything and besides it isn't your business".

"Yes it is" she yelled too "It is when the only thing you have managed is to ruin his life. Do you know how it is to see your brother destroying himself more and more every day for a girl that he loved and she left him without even a note".

"Don't bullshit me, Izzy" I continued screaming." Jace is fine, he was always fine. He has moved on, if he had ever stopped".

"What the hell are you saying?" she asked angrily.

"There's no need to pretend, Isabelle" I said, "I know that he is marrying Aline" I said meanly and I caught her by surprise, she didn't probably expect me to know that, but she managed to cover her surprise quickly.

"What do you expect?" she said angrily, not screaming this time" To wait for you all his life?, he had finally moved on besides you forget about who we are talking about, he is Jace" .

"Yeah I know but you seemed to forget who you are talking to" I said mockingly. "He is marrying after less than six months from the day I left and that means that he has started been with Aline very soon after I left, as a wedding need at least two months to be prepared, especially a wedding like his is going to be, and three months isn't, not a bit enough to know someone well enough so you can marry him but still is Jace right?" I said and I took a deep breath. "So don't say me that he was miserable and he loved me because he didn't" I screamed the last few words. I couldn't stand her lies anymore.

"I don't care what you think, Clary" she said angrier than before, if that was humanly possible. " You haven't any excuse for what you did. Jace loved you and you destroyed him. You don't deserve him, you are worse than the others girls he dated; they at least didn't pretend that they had feelings for him. You did, you said that you loved him but obviously you don't. You never loved him" she said and that got me out of control.

"You don't know how I feel ok?" I screamed hysterically."Don't ever say that again. I loved him, I really loved him"

"No you didn't "she said sadly and that was the last hit I could take and started throwing her plates.

"Get out of my house, right now" I screamed to her.

"Ok, if you promise me something" she said calmly, avoiding a plate and I just nodded my head.

"Don't come to the wedding, you have done already too much damage, you don't need to destroy and his last chance to be happy again" she said sadly.

"Don't worry, I wasn't going to come anyway" I said bitterly having nothing else to throw to her as the plates had ended.

She finally left but before she did she had to break me down completely.

"And by the way; don't ever try to contact with him. He doesn't want to see you ever again. He really hates you for the things you have done to him. Believe me".

With those words I fell to the floor, crying, trembling and even screaming uncontrollably. Jace hated me.

After a while, when I had calmed down a little, someone came and sat beside me. In the beginning I thought that it was Isabelle but as soon as he buried me in his small hug and whispered me some calming words, I knew that it was Simon and that made me even worst.

"Sh,sh, Clary, calm down, everything will be fine" he said and I, surprisingly, really relaxed and just stared the wall.

They passed some very awkward minutes of silence before he decided to start talking as he probably understood that I wasn't willing to be the first to break the silence.

"Clary what's going on?" he said worry like only the Simon Lewis would do in a similar case. I have really missed him.

"Hasn't Izzy told you?" I said powerless and made him release that it wasn't going to be very easy to talk to me.

"Yes, she has but I want to hear your side of the story" he said pleading and for the first time I looked him at the eyes and as hard as I tried to control myself, the tears started to fall from my eyes.

"Simon, I will tell you but I want to promise me that you will hear me and you will try to understand me, ok?" I said between my heavy sobs and he nodded worry.

I told him everything; What had happened in the Angel square, why I had left, what I was doing all these months, why I had abandon myself from them, why I had destroyed my life, everything. But to tell the truth I hadn't tell him about how I was feeling about all these changes in my life, I hadn't told him what I really felt for Jace. But I could tell from the look on his eyes, that he understood more than I was telling him.

That's why Simon was my best friend because he could always see through me.

"Clary why did you did all these things?" he asked terrified when I had finished but I knew that he didn't really waiting an answer from me.

"You could have told us, we could have helped you" he said desperate.

"No, Simon" I said smiling but sadly. "This is the best for everyone and please do me a favor" I said and he nodded.

"Leave me alone, get back to your life and forget me" I said and before I could finish what I wanted to say he interrupted me.

"No, Clary, you have suffered enough, you deserve to move on" he said determinedly.

"Yes, I do and that will happen only if I stay away from everything that reminds me him. I am sorry Simon but that's the only way" I said pleading and I knew from the look on his eyes that he knew that I was lying. He knew that I didn't intent to forget him and be happy again.

He just smiled with my reaction.

"Clary, you were always so stubborn and I know very well by personal experience that there's no way to change your mind" he said smiling and I smiled too. It reminded me the old times.

"So, I am going to give you an advice and I hope to listen me; Follow your heart." he said and wink me.

"Although you are with Isabelle, you still remain geek Simon" I said laughing although I knew that he was serious.

"I know, baby, I know" he said laughing too and stroking his hair.

Our laughs broke off by a little voice which later proved that it belonged to Max, Isabelle's little brother.

"Simon, please come on, Isabelle wants to leave and she is ready to ripe my comics if you don't come soon" he said pleading.

"Ok, little buddy, one moment" he said and Max left but not before he looked me with curiosity and what was that; hope?

"As you can see I have to go" he said sadly. "I would tell you see you around but I know that it would be a lie, so…" he said and he headed to the door.

"Simon wait" I yelled and he turned around.

"I still have the same number, if you want to call me once in a while" I said smiling and he smiled to. Maybe we couldn't have the same relationship as before, but I wanted him to know that there will always be a place for him in my life.

"Ok then, see you around Fray" he said and kissed my cheek and I found the opportunity to say him something that I always wanted.

"You know Simon, I am happy for you. Isabelle and you seemed happy together and really in love" I yelled while I was closing the door and he was walking towards his car.

"I know what will you think, but I believe that you should know it too" he said and I looked him with curiosity, only to hear something that broke more my already broken heart.

"You seemed in love too" he said honestly and I could guess that the pronoun was referred to two people and not only one.

After those discussions, I didn't have even the energy to go to my room and break down properly, so I decided to stay at the hall and passed the night looking at the broken plates and remembering what had happened some time ago in Amatis' house, in Idris.

I didn't realize how the time was passing so quickly until I looked at the watch in my hand and saw that it was seven o'clock in the morning, the next morning. I let out a heavy sigh of resentment which wasn't only due to the situation that my house was but and due to the things that had happened in my house the previous day, which by the way despite of my wishes they weren't just dreams but the hard reality.

Isabelle and Simon had created me a lot of problems and worries. First of all, how had they found me? Had someone told them and who was that person? And last but not least did Jace also know where I was?

The only way to give answers in my problems was to find the person that told Isabelle how to find me. That person could be Jocelyn and Luke, my trainer or Magnus, as they were the only ones who knew where I lived.

I didn't think that my trainer had told her about me as he was very old and he hardly ever left his house. Besides, if he wanted to tell her where I was he would have done it a lot time ago.

Neither Magnus, I believed that it was the one that relieved my hideout as the reason we were still in touch was because of business and he never gave away his clients. Besides if he wanted to help Izzy, he would have already done it, too.

So it was left only Jocelyn and Luke. I always afraid that my mom wasn't going to protect my secret and respect my choice to disappear as she always was against it and obviously my yesterday's outburst didn't help the situation very much. Luke was in my side but he loved her so much that he could do anything that made her happy.

So I dialed my mother's number and waited for her to answer.

"Jocelyn Fray, here" she said coldly.

"Mom, it's me Clary" I said supposedly happy but I could say that the anger in my voice was obvious.

"Honey, what a surprise" she said and as hard as she tried to sound calmed, the fear and the trembling in her voice betraying her.

"Mom, please let the pretending and tell me the truth" I said tired. "Did you know anything about the pleasant visitors I had yesterday?"

"I am so sorry honey" she said nervous," It wasn't my fault"

"Then, whose it was mom?, how did they learn where I was?"I asked nervous, but not because of what my mom had done, but because I wanted to learn if he knew.

"You see, yesterday while we were getting home, Luke and I were talking about you and" she stopped but I protested her to move on" Isabelle and Simon where in the hall, waiting for us and they heard us saying that you lived in Luke's cottage… and I am so sorry, honey" she said in the end and I left a sigh of relief; Jace didn't knew.

Not yet, at least.

"It's ok mom but do you think that they will tell and to someone else where I am?"I asked very anxious.

"No,no Clary don't worry; Luke made them to promise that they won't tell anyone where you are and you know that they can't abrogate their promises" she said proudly.

Oh, thanks mom" I said more relief now but still I was so awful. I decided to go to Magnus for some help; he always gave good advices." I had to go now, said thanks to Luke too".

"Bye honey, love you" she said and hang up. I, in the mean time, I had already closed the door and headed to visit the High Warlock of Brooklyn.

I wanted to go to Magnus' house by car so I could see my beloved New York but I gave up in the middle of the route as I became very tired and I decide to use a portal instead.

The portal got me out exactly on the door step of Magnus house and before I rang the bell, the door had already opened, revealing a half naked Magnus, full of pink glitter.

Without second thought, I had fallen in his hug.

"Sweetie, I didn't expect you to come here tonight" he said worryingly, "No that it minds me but has something happened?"

"What hasn't happened, you should better say" I said tired.

"Ok, get off your coat, sit on the couch and I am bringing hot cocoas" he said urgently and I got inside. "You are going to tell me everything"

"We are alone, right?" I asked after a while being calmer and he nod bringing the chocolates.

"So what's going on?" he asked," You look terribly, don't you take the pills I gave you to help you?

"Yes I do Magnus, but you know the pleasant visit of Isabelle and Simon yesterday evening, didn't really help the situation as many pills as I took" I said and waited for his reaction which by the way was to spill his cocoa on the floor.

"What?" he asked without hiding his surprise," How did the learn where you live?"

"It is complicated; let's just say that they eavesdropped a talk that my parents were doing about me. But that's not my problem, what done is done, besides they promise not to tell anyone else but.." I said reluctantly.

"Are you afraid that they won't keep their promise?" he asked."That's why are you so tired, from the anxiety about what will happened if he found you?

"No it's not that" I said and the tears that so many time I tried to control, started to fall from my eyes.

"Oh Clary" he said sadly, "What's wrong, then?, you are making me to worry".

"He is marrying Aline" I squawked between my heavy sobs and he looked me sadly not knowing what to do "And you know what is the worst? Isabelle told me that he hates me, yeah Jace hates me, he doesn't want to see me ever again, he think that I didn't ever love him, he…, he" I cried and lost the control completely.

"Clary, calm down" he said powerfully, "by crying you won't solve your problems".

After a couple of minutes, I gain the control of my body and my mind again and I talk to him about everything, even the things I hadn't told Simon.

"Clary, tell me, I know that Izzy told you not to come to the wedding, but what do you want?" he asked sadly.

"I don't know Magnus, I really don't" I whispered.

"But do you understand that this would be your last chance to see him and talk to him? Because after that he will be married and there won't be any hope to be together again." He said seriously.

"Magnus, there was never really any chance for us, anyway. He never loved me. I am not going to the wedding, I won't destroy his happiness again" I said determinedly.

"Aright, I just hope you won't regret it" he said sadly.

"I won't." I said and I really hope I was right.

"Change of topic now; how are your preparations for your wedding with Alec going?"I asked trying to be happy as I didn't know that the black haired boy, who was on the second floor of the house hidden, had heard every word I had said.

After a while, Magnus finally let me go home. As I was exhausted, I lied down on my bed wearing only a big shirt which Luke has given to me.

For the first time in a long time, I wanted to draw, so I grabbed my sketch blog and a pencil and started drawing. I knew what I was going to draw; Jace, just Jace with his arrogant half smile.

When I finished, I did something that until now, I hadn't done; I started talking to him, with the picture I had drawn. Yeah, I had lost my mind. I didn't think what I was doing, it just happened. I wanted to talk with someone that wasn't going to criticizing me, I wanted to tell my feelings, my complaints without feeling embarrassed and that was exactly what I did.

"You know, Jace" I said. "You really broke me, and yeah I know that it was stupid for me to think that you could really love someone like me but you make me believe it. This is your fault, this is all your fault" It was a good change to blame someone else for the things that had happened but the bell rang and prevented me for continuing my paranoid speech.

I didn't bother opening the door, I just waited for the knocks to stop; I didn't have the courage to face the person who was behind the door, not even to get up from the bed. But to my bad luck as soon as the knocks stopped, they replaced by a voice telling me to open the door.

"Clary, it's me Alec, please open the door, I have something very important to tell you" the annoying voice yelled, which obviously belonged to Alec Lightwood.

But his words didn't persuade me to open the door, I just yelled him to leave.

"Alec, I am not going to open, so I suggest you to leave" I said determinedly. "Isabelle had told me already enough, I don't want to hear anything else for you. And tell to your family not come to my house again, besides I am going to move out" I screamed aggressively.

"Please, Clary, I promise it has nothing to do with Isabelle" he said pleading and I decided to open the damn door as it seemed to be the only way to get rid of him.

"Oh, I will open you" I said now, looking the wooden door." But you will promise me that I won't see any of your family ever again here".

"Ok" he said relief.

I unlocked the door and opened it but the person I saw when I opened it, wasn't the shy Alec Lightwood but the arrogant Jace Herondale. With a quick glance I had, I saw Alec got into a black car. He had tricked me, damn it. But I wasn't the only one who stayed astonished from what I saw standing across me, he had too, but this time I was faster than him and I managed to close the door.

But I knew that he wasn't going to leave so easily but why? Why had he come here after so long, what did he want?

"Leave, Jace." I screamed desperately while he was knocking the door like a maniac.

"I'm not leaving Clary, opened the door "he screamed angrily and the door opened but not because of me, he had broken it. I wished I could disappear; I didn't want to face him, I didn't want to see him.

I tried to run away from the back door but he grabbed my hands.

"Let me" I screamed without looking him, and when he didn't, I started kicking him and hitting him uncontrollably, not always finding my aim.

"Clary stop" he said pleading and I unexpectedly Idid, I did stopped.

"What are you doing here?"I asked him in a whispered voice after a while.

"What?" he asked angrily and he laughed coldly." What do you think I am doing Clary?"

And for the first time I looked at him. His eyes were dark from anger, hate and desperation, his hands where trembling slightly and he hadn't his usually grin, after all these time I could still read him but when he saw that I was looking at him he put his usual mask and grinned mockingly.

"I came here to see you what were you doing all these months when you had disappeared. So" he said wondering in the house" what were you doing?"

"It's not your business" I said angrily and his expression changed, he became tired, confused.

"Yeah, you took care of that" he said with range. "I want the truth Clary, stop the games. What really happened, why you left?" he said emphasizing each word.

I didn't know what to tell him. Should I tell him what I had seen that night at the square? No, probably, not. If I did that, I would ruin everything, he had built his life again knowing that I never loved him, if he knew what had really happened he might even canceled his wedding from guilties. He maybe wanted to be with me again and yeah, that was what I always wanted it but it wasn't right for him, I wasn't right for him and in the end the only thing I could have managed is to ruin his life again. No I won't do that, not again.

I turned around to face him with a look in my face mixed with fake anger and disgusted while I was trying to control my tears from fall for what I was going to do.

"Jace, I left because I understood that this" I said and point him and me," wasn't going to work. You aren't good enough for me" I said my voice cracking but he didn't seem to notice.

"But why then Clary? You always knew that, I had said to you and you didn't care, what changed?" he said pleading.

"I released that" I said and I took a deep breath, I didn't want to say it but I knew that it was the only way to make him leave, to make him forget. "I didn't love you, I never really loved you, I thought that I did but I was wrong. Why should I love you, after all?" I said and I saw in his golden that he believed me, he really believed me. But how could he; after all the things we had gone through? But I shouldn't complain, this was what I wanted after all.

"You are lying" he said desperate, but more to convince himself than me. He really believed me.

"No, I don't" I said not looking at him afraid that he would understand that I was lying.

"But why you left, you could have said it and stay with your friends" he said desperate, hoping that everything I had said was a lie. I couldn't see him like this, I could stand it.

"Because" I almost screamed, having lose my control," I didn't want that life. I didn't want to see you every day, reminding me that because of you I lost everything. I couldn't have a normal life, go to Art school, have a family and all these because of you. I really hate you" I screamed, emphasizing each word, hoping that with these words I would make him leave.

But he just stared me with, I don't know, sadness, anger, hate and then he fell to the armchair trembling, but after a while he found his old self.

"I am sorry for ruining your chance to marry Simon" he said grinning and headed to the door but before he closed it he said seriously;

"You were right, you know; we aren't proper for each other. I thought that I loved you but now I understand that it isn't logical to had fallen in love with a girl like you, so fake" he said and disappeared leaving me helpless.

I couldn't move, I couldn't think, my mind and my heart had stopped. Almost automatically, I grabbed a blanket and my old sketchbook and nestled up to the armchair where he had sat, looking at the door where he had just left the love of my life.

I didn't know how much time I was sitting there but I know that I was motionless. I was just holding my blog hard; inside it there were the first pictures I had drawn of Jace and in the same time I was repeating in my mind the scene that happened in my house some hours ago. I wasn't crying, the shock was too big to realize what really had happened.

My thoughts were interrupted by the knocks on the door, but this time I didn't care, I let the people who were outside knock meaningless. After a while they stopped but no because they have left but because they have discovered that the door was broken, so they got in.

I didn't give them any sign of recognition when they greeted me, I still stayed motionless. But I understood from their voices that they were Magnus, Alec, Isabelle and Simon.

"Why she doesn't move?" Simon asked worry.

"She is dead" Magnus said supposedly sadly and as an answer she received a hit from Alec and Izzy.

"Very funny, Magnus, very funny" Alec said.

"Now seriously what's wrong with her?" Isabelle asked, "Why is she looking the door?"

"I don't know but I bet that her condition is relevant to the reason that her house is in such mess" Magnus said.

"She broke the plates when I visited her the other day and her room was already like this when I came, so the really question is how the glasses broken" Isabelle said seriously.

Ah, the glasses, I had broken them after Jace had left. I didn't understand what I was doing I did from desperation about what had just happened. I hated myself about the things I had said and I wanted to burst somewhere. Then I really realized what the consequences of my words would be and I fell into shock.

Maybe they didn't understand it but I was watching their conversation.

"And the door why is it broken?" Simon asked while he tried to take my blog but I didn't let him.

"What are you doing?" Magnus asked Simon with curiosity and Simon stopped trying to take my blog and looked at him.

"Look her how she hold it, it maybe has some relevance with what had happened" Simon answered him.

"She doesn't let it, Damn it" Isabelle said after trying to take it too.

"Sweetie, what's wrong?"Magnus asked and this time I spoke but not to him, to Alec.

"Why did you do that to me? Why did you bring him, here?" I whispered trembling, looking only at Alec but Simon was the one to talk.

"What is she saying, what did you do?" he asked with rage.

"I maybe had told Jace where she is living" Alec said looking at his feet.

"But how did you know where she leaved? Isabelle asked "We told you about this, this morning?

"I may have heard Magnus talking about this with Clary two days ago" Alec said embarrassed and Simon was ready to answer him but Magnus interrupted him.

"What done is done, now we should see what we are doing now" he said determinedly. "Clary, sweetie, what happened, did you fight?" he asked reluctantly and I burst out crying.

"I said that I didn't love him, that I never did, I said that I hated him" I said between my heavy sobs, "and he said that he never loved me too"

"Honey, why did you do that?" Magnus asked, the others were probably too afraid to talk to me.

"Because it was the only way to let him move on, to let him forget." I said crying.

"Oh, honey" he said and hugged me.

After a while I found the energy to talk, making sure that I could control myself from breaking down.

"I don't want to seem rude but what are you doing here, dressed like this" I said pointing Isabelle who wore a formal red dress.

"Don't you know it? today is Jace wedding" Alec said afraid of my reaction.

"Yes, I know it but I thought that it was tomorrow, the twentieth of the March" I said confused.

"Yes today it is the twentieth of the March" he said pointing his mobile screen.

"But that means that I was sitting in this armchair motionless for almost two days" I said terrified.

"I am sorry, Clary" Simon said and he really did but it wasn't his fault to be sorry. It was mine.

"Ok, but what are you doing here?" I asked again. "The wedding isn't happening here" I said mockingly.

"We want you to come to the wedding" Isabelle said abruptly.

"You are joking right?" I said angrily. "The last time I saw you, you almost threaten me to kill me if I dare to come to the wedding and now you want me to come?" I asked surprised.

"Yes, I know and I am sorry" she said honestly, "But I didn't know what really had happened and" she said but I interrupted her.

"And now you do?" I asked mockingly.

"Yes, Magnus told me" she said embarrassed.

"I accept your apology but I am not going to come, anyway" I said stubbornly.

"Why, Clary?" Simon asked," This maybe be your last chance to be with him again".

"Yes it maybe, be" Alec agreed. "Jace isn't going to wait you forever"

"How many times should I tell you, guys? We were never really together and there were never really be a chance to be. I am not proper for him, Aline is" I said determinedly.

"No she isn't. Aline is a bich. Jace isn't happy with her but with you he was. Don't ruin your chance to be happy again, both be" Isabelle said aggressively and everyone in the room nodded except from Magnus who seemed bored.

"I am sorry guys" I said, going to the kitchen, "I am not going to the wedding and if I were you I would hurry up if I wanted to be on time" I said stubbornly.

"Ok Clary" Simon, Alec and Isabelle said and in the meantime they had reached and opened the door but before they left Isabelle added;

"I hope you not regretted it" she said sadly and Simon gave me a quick hug.

I wandered in the house, ready to fall in the bed and cry until I remembered that Magnus was still here.

"Magnus" I said and I came closer to him. "Why are you still here? Do you want to tell me what I must do as everybody else did, before you leave?" I asked tired.

"No, sweetheart, I had already said it to you; I don't like to meddle in other peoples' business, especially those which concern matters of the heart" he said sadly. "I am here to just remind you something."

"What?" I murmured looking him with curiosity.

"It has the Vampire Diaries on the TV, now" he said mysterious and left the house.

I loved that series and it was needless to say that I have seen all the episodes but I opened the TV anyway. Firstly, because it was a huge temptation after what Magnus had said and secondly because I thought that it would be a good way to get away from my problems, if that was possible.

But when I opened the TV, it didn't happen what normally should happen but instead of it the screen got all black and some words appeared.

**I believe that you should see these things again because it seemed to have forgotten them. – XOXO, Magnus.**

And then the words disappeared and a small video begun, but that it wasn't just a video, it was my life, my life with Jace. And if it couldn't be worse, it was accompanied by the Claire de Lune by Debussy. That song always made me depressed.

It had all the moments of me and Jace from the day I first saw him; Our first kiss, the almost second one, our kiss in the Seelie Court, our fights in Idris, our make out outside the burned Manor, and the list was going on like this.

I couldn't watch it but neither I couldn't close it. It was beside the most important moments of my entirely life. When it finished, I ran toward the bathroom, and got to the bath and as the water started to run, my tears started too.

There were many bad moments between us but there were happy moments too; moments full all love and care. It was impossible for me to believe that they were just a pretending. Because as impossible as it may seemed, that boy in the video seemed to love me, really love me and even when he was telling me otherwise, I could see in his eyes the pain and the regret for the pain he knew was causing me with his words.

And after what we had gone through, how I could this to him? No, I couldn't, he deserved to know the truth.

And like this, the decision had been taken. I was going to the wedding.

And now, here I was. How did I have ended up like this?

I was outside the temple dressed up into a plain white shirt and a loose jean, doing what? I was really so bitch, to be willing to ruin his wedding for a stupid pet? Yes, I probably was, since I entered the temple and hid in the second floor where none was.

I wandered my eyes in the place and I saw that everyone was here and they were everyone happy, even my parents. The traitors.

In the beginning of the corridor was Aline and as badly as I wanted to denied it, she was really beautiful. She was wearing a gold tight strapless dress with a long train which was leaving the back open and it was matching with golden jewelry. Her hair was done up in a loose but elegant bun.

But the worst was in the other edge of the corridor; Jace. He was wearing a simple black tuxedo with a golden tie and he had his usual smirk while Aline was walking towards him. When he reached him, he held her hand and the ceremony begun.

"Why are you crying?" a small voice asked me and I surprised saw that Max was standing beside me. I wiped my tears quickly, and he sat opposite to me.

"It's nothing serious" I said trying to smile but it was more like a frown.

"It's for him, right?" he said pointing Jace and ignoring my answer.

"No, it's not that" I said lamely, in the edge of tears.

"Aren't you Clary, the girl who learned me how to read a narruto?" he asked and I nodded. "You know the last couples of months, I have heard a lot of things about you but I don't really understand" he said seriously.

"What don't you understand?"I asked confused.

"Why is he marrying?" he asked looking me directly in my eyes.

"I don't really know but I guess because he loves her" I said trying not to cry.

"No that's not what I understand; he doesn't love her, he loves you" he said honestly.

"No, I think you are wrong" I said determinedly.

"No I am not, he loves you but he thinks that you don't" he said sadly. "But seeing you now, I think that he's wrong too, you seem to be in love with him. Are you?" he asked hopeful.

"Yes I am. Jace is everything to me" I whispered and for the first time I had said directly what I was really feeling for Jace without being afraid.

"And then why aren't you together?" he asked confused.

"Because I can't give him what he deserves" I said and stood up, ready to leave. But before I got out from the temple I turned around to see him for the last time and I saw that he was looking me too and before I thought about it twice I had mouthed to him the words that were the reason I came here but in the end I was too afraid to tell him.

"**I love you. I am so sorry".**

That were the words I was going to regret telling him for the rest of my pity life.

When I released what I had just said, I started to run, trying to get as far as I could away for him. I didn't know which his reaction was as I didn't stay to see him but I definitely didn't wait to follow me. But obviously, I was wrong as when I had just got into the forest, he grabbed my hands and stack me in a tree.

"What are you doing here?" he said, his eyes dark, his hand trembling but I didn't answer, I was looking down at my feet, afraid of him; not really of him but his actions, his words.

"What did you say? He asked again but neither this time I answered him nor look at him."Why did you say that?" he asked, raising my chin, so I could look at him. "Answered me" he whispered and he was sounding so broken and I couldn't stand seeing him like that.

"What's the point?" I asked broken, tears started running from eyes.

"What's the point to learn if you really loved me, if everything we lived wasn't a lie?" he asked angrily.

"No, what's the point if I did really love you, if I still love you?" I almost screamed." Besides, you don't love me." I said angrily and he looked me confused, almost hurt. "You don't need to pretend anymore Jace, I saw you, I saw you kissing Aline that night in the square and believe me I don't blame you for that, we were never really meant to be together, besides what have we to offer to each other?" I said determinedly but with the hope that he was going to contracted me, that he was going to defend our relationship but he didn't, he just stared at me with wide eyes.

"You see, you can't even tell the reasons you love me, if you ever did" I said gentle and I started to run and this time he never stopped me.

I was wandering in the streets for hours. I had got back to New York via portal as soon as I got out from the forest and now here I was, sitting in the Central park, freezing on my own, repeating in my mind what had happened the last four days; I had talk to a lot of different people and everybody had said to me the almost same thing; that I was going to regret it. And I had, I had regretted it. But I hadn't regretted what they thought I would.

After all the things that had happened I had reached the followings conclusions; Jace loved me, or at least he thought that he was; he wasn't pretending when we met each other but he was wrong and Aline was right; I wasn't the love of his life, I was just a girl who was a little different and he was interested in me. I don't blame him, neither himself hadn't understand what he was really feeling for me, he did only a few hours ago when he couldn't find the reasons that we should be together. So if nothing like that had happened and were still together, he, soon or later, would have broken up with me because he would understand that I was nothing special for him, after all.

And that was so unfair, because I really loved him, with all my heart, and I still do and I know that whatever happens, how many times he hurts me, I will still love him, until I die and if there's a life after that, I will love him them.

So what was the point of my life from now on? I was all alone; I hadn't anyone, neither friends or family, I could have but the only thing I would offer them would be sadness seeing me every day like this because as badly as I wanted it to, I would never be really ok, not without him.

I wasn't kidding when I had said that I was going to move out but again what was the point? Anything I did, I couldn't hide from the thing I really wanted to hide; my love from Jace.

Everywhere I looked I saw love and care, couples of all the ages, kissing and hugging around the Central Park and I couldn't stand living like this anymore, knowing that I was never going to be like this, in love with a person that would love me back, knowing that I was never going to feel his lips in mine again, my hand secure in his hold.

And without second thought I had taken my decision; everybody had said that he was living without caring about he is own life, that he was fighting without fear of dying. All these, due to the fact that had never really had something to live for. And now, neither had I.

I was exhausted, I was killing demons for hours and until now I hadn't even injured seriously. The universe must really hate me; when I wanted to live, I almost get killed and when I wanted to die, I didn't. Of course there was and the easy way to die, to kill myself on my own but I didn't want to commit suicide, I wanted to die as a decent Shadowhunter.

I turned around to a dark isolated alley where they were waiting me dozens of demons. Just my luck. I didn't think at all, I just followed my instincts and suddenly all the demons had turned into dust. Damn it, again.

When I was ready to search my luck in another alley, I suddenly saw Jace lying down in the ground, full of blood. Without second thought, I run towards him and then was when I felt a short penetrate my body. I turned around to see who it was and I saw a Croucher hole my body with his hand and before he reached my heart I killed it reflecting.

But , my injured was very serious and I couldn't move, so the other demon which before had taken Jace form was ready to kill me completely. I closed my eyes as I felt his hand in my body ready to choke the life out from me, but they never did.

Instead of, his hand replaced by smaller, gentler hands, but still I hadn't the power to open my eyes.

"Open your eyes Clary, open your eyes" a scared voice said urgently, and I, instinctively , open them, only to see my favorite golden eyes looked at me with fear; Jace I thought and I said it aloud too. I attempt to close my eyes again, relief that I was going to die in his arms safe but his screams didn't let me.

"No, Clary, no. Don't dare to close your eyes to me. You can't die, I can't live knowing that…." he said trembling with tears ready to fall from his eyes. I couldn't stand seeing him like this, I couldn't die let him believe that it was his fault. I should explain him, tell him the truth before I leave. It was the right for both of us.

"Please Jace don't cry" I whispered and I swept a tear from his eyes. "You must continue your life Jace, don't ruin yourself from guilties for things that's not your fault. I chose to die because I couldn't stand loving and you didn't but that's not your fault. You aren't to blame because you didn't love me, besides you shouldn't love me, I have nothing to give you" I said not leaving his eyes.

"No, Clary, I am an idiot for letting leave you. But I though that I didn't deserve you, I still believe that. Look what I had done to you, I ruin your chances to have a normal life, the life you always wanted, I hurt you repeatedly and now you are going to leave forever" he said denying saying the word. "And the worst is that I love you Clary, I always love you, from the first time I saw at the Pandemonium, but I made you to believe that I don't, to let you free continue your life because it isn't logical to love me, why to love a boy like me?" he asked sadly.

And I couldn't stop looking at him. We had destroyed our chance to be together for boners. Not only him but and me, and now I was dying and I didn't even have tell him what I was really feeling for him and that was so unfair. Because, he maybe was a closed person but to me, when we were together, he opened himself. But I ,I had never told him directly my feelings for him, afraid of hurting me but he deserved to know, even if he was going to learn them our last moment together.

"You know, you aren't the only one who felt like this" I said trying to hold my voice steady so he could understand me. I was feeling the time for me running out. "When I first saw you on the Pandemonium, you seemed to me like a brave lion and I am not hiding you that I didn't like you at first; you seemed so distant. But then I have the chance to know you better and without I fully understand it I started falling for you hard. Do you remember once that you had asked me mockingly if I was drawing you, I was really drawing you; like a golden angel. That night in the greenhouse, I could say that it was like a dream for me and as always the dreams have to end." I took a deep breath and I continue.

" Being your sister was unnatural for me and I didn't know what to do; when you had said to me that from now on, you were going to be my brother, I wanted to tell you that I didn't care that we were siblings that I wanted to be with you together but you spoke first and I had lost my courage. Then you were so distant and the most times you were so cold but there were times that you were behaving like the old Jace and even if I didn't know it, I had still hope for us. When I learnt that we weren't siblings I was so happy, I believed that everything would be ok from now but and again something should happen; you died and I knew that I should have ask for something else but I couldn't imagine my life without you and then you disappeared again and Aline told me that it's impossible to love someone like, so when I saw you kissing Aline, I didn't wait for explanations and I left" I said sadly.

Then, I looked at him after so much time and I saw that he was crying, really crying. I wanted to tell him that everything was going to be ok, to comfort him but I knew that everything I was going to say would be a lie, except one thing.

"I am so sorry Jace" I said looking straight at his eyes." For ruining your life, for ruining our life together. I love you Jace and I would never stop to" I said and I closed my eyes feeling his hand stroking my hair.

"Clary, open your eyes. "he screamed. "You can't leave me" he whispered and broke down crying.

But as badly as I wanted it, I couldn't open my eyes this time. Was I dead? Honestly I didn't know. I was in a dark place all alone and suddenly I heard a voice.

"No, you are not" the voice said and the Angel Raziel appeared. "Clarissa Morgenstern, daughter of Valentine, you are in the half of your way to death. Normally, you should can move on and go to Heaven or Hell respectively but you can't, due to the fact that you have more angelic blood in your veins and your injured it's not too seriously to have a direct death, it's your decision if you are going to live or die." He said coldly.

"But if it's my decision why I am here" I said pointing the dark place.

"Because you should normally die as you didn't heal your injured in time but I have given you a promise and I must keep it" he said and I looked him confused.

"You asked for Jace and I brought him back from the dead for you and now, if I take you, you won't have Jace, so it would be like I negate your desire, thing that I can't do but if it is your decision to die I can't prevent you for completing it. So what do you choose?, I don't have time for wasting it" he said coldly.

If I chose to live, I would be with Jace. Something that I always wanted it, but was our relationship going to last? He had said that he loved me and I had believed him, he really seemed to mean the things he had said but was it that enough to be with him for the rest of my life?, besides and when we were together without serious problems, we always fighting.

On the other hand, if I chose to die, I would never be hurt again, I would never suffer from the thought of Jace rejection or I would never be alone again. I won't have problems, my life would be simple without something to care about. No pain, no fear, no love. No something to hurt me.

And like this I had taken my decision.

I opened my eyes.

But Jace wasn't anywhere to be found. My injured had closed and I wasn't in pain anymore. I tried to stand up and I did. When I had started to believe that I had taken the wrong decision, I heard Jace voice.

"Get away from here, Alec" he screamed. "You aren't going to touch her, she isn't dead"

"Jace please, you know that she has left, we should honor her like a real Shadowhunter, she has killed a lot of demons" he said pleading.

"And look where she got her" he said screaming but obvious sadly. "I didn't even make it to tell her what I wanted to. That's why I am pleading you to leave me with her" he said now gently and I heard someone leave, probably Alec, he couldn't do otherwise, I don't think that he had ever listen again Jace pleading.

Jace got back to the place I was lying down but when he didn't see me there, he lost his mind and he started screaming my name, throwing things in the air and without thinking twice I run to him and hugged him.

"Clary are you alive? Am I dreaming?" he said voice and hands trembling attempting to touch my face.

"No you aren't. I am here with you" I said in the edge of tears steadying his hand in my cheek and everything that had happened with Raziel spilled out from mouth.

"So did you choose me again? All the things you said before you die were it true?" Jace asked crying from happiness but he was obviously nervous for what I was going to answer him.

"Of course and I meant it, Jace. You are everything to me, everything"I said looking at him," And I am so sorry for what I have done but did you mean the things you said, or it was just guilties?" I asked nervous too.

"Never said that Clary, you hear me. I was so stupid for the things I done, but now knowing what you really feel about me, even if I don't know why you do, I am not going to leave you again, you have stuck with me Clary. I love you" he said and he laughs but the sadness in his voice was obvious.

"I love you Jace" I said and I put my hand where his heart was" I love you because when you decide to give yourself to someone you really do, you are loyal, and you care about them, you don't pretend, you are honest with them and you are ready to do anything for them. You may think that you are like Valentine but you aren't Jace, you don't afraid to let someone see you, really see you and I know it because you did it with me. But I don't understand why me? I said looking down at my feet when I said the last sentence.

"Clary" he said and raised my chin so I can look at him." You are the most wonderful person, I have ever met. Everything that you say I am, I am because of you. I didn't have faith in anyone but you, you show me that life is good, you gave me a reason to live and I wanted to live. I wanted to have a place in your life, I wanted to be the one that made you smile and I wanted to be the one that would comfort you when you weren't well. I wanted to sleep and wake up with you in the morning, I wanted to see your beautiful smile every day and your cute frown when something didn't happen as you wanted, I wanted to be with you in all the moments of your life. You destroy me Clary you know, for the first time in my life I envied mundanes, I envied Simon" he said smiling and stroke my wield hair.

His words seemed so real and for the first time in months, I hadn't doubts that he loved me because he did, that boy opposite of me really love me. But there was still a problem, a huge problem.

"Aline" I blurted out without thinking." I can't do this, you are married with her" I said terrified with what I had almost release.

"No Clary,I didn't marry her, how could I after all? he said smiling."Haven't you understood it, yet? Without you I am nothing, my life is meaningless" he said and he explained me minutely what had happened after I left from the temple but I didn't care, the only thing that really mattered was that he didn't marry her. He didn't marry her because he couldn't imagine his life without me.

"So what are we doing now?" he asked after some minutes of silence. "Do you forgive me, for the pain I cause you?" he asked directly without hesitation.

"You did cause me a lot of pain Jace but I am willing to risk it because I can't do otherwise, I am in love with you" I said and he smiled but I ignored him and continue talking.

"I will forgive you only with one or maybe two conditions" I said smiling.

"Anything Clary, I could anything for you" he said determinedly. " L'amor che move il sole e l'altre stele. My will and my desire were turned by love, the love that moves the sun and the other stars." he said and explained to me as he knew that I didn't speak Italian.

"Don't leave me ever again" I said crying but from joy this time and he buried me in his hug.

"No, not ever again Clary" he said smiling" But by the way which is the second condition?" he asked curious.

I hid my smile and I took a serious expression while I backed off from him and he by my movement panicked and looked me with a confused look.

"Kiss me" I whispered and his eyes darken dangerously and he stuck me in the wall.

And I knew that everything would be ok, as long as we were together. And we were going to be for a long time as our love could even bear the death.

**It isn't beta, so if you think that is need to be I would love to hear your suggestions.**

**I haven't given up the other story I am writing, just i had this idea and I wanted to write it. So did you like it?**

**Review and tell me what you think :) **

**XOXO,**

**Edwart forever**


End file.
